Why, you ask? Partly because I had yet to give the new HEV Mark 4 'a spin about the block,' and was curious to see what enhancements had been made since its previous incarnation, the Mark 3. The hazard course was quite different then! It was just a room which contained cardboard boxes, crates, some crude hurdles, and a leaking sewage pipe! We didn't even possess HEV suits back then… we had yellow raincoats that had 'SAFETY' scrawled onto the back!īut instead of avoiding HEV certification this time around, I eagerly made an appointment to take the hazard course. In fact, I had run the hazard course only one time previously, and that was way back when I was freshly recruited. However, I have managed to evade hazard course training for quite some time by using my superior intellect to outsmart my superiors.

You see, here at Black Mesa, mission-critical scientists must be trained on the proper use of the HEV suits every few years. Last week, a colleague informed me that my HEV suit certification had expired. Those Duke boys and Boss Hogg always found themselves in such wacky predicaments! And myself? Well, I constantly found myself enraptured by Daisy Duke's jean-shorts! My goodness! If I were Bo or Luke, I certainly would not care if she were my cousin! Unto your back you go for deflowering, Daisy! But I digress. I must admit to being a big fan of the Dukes of Hazard television program. Greetings, readers! I do hope you gleefully chuckled at the title of this installment, I racked my brain for hours to come up with that particular clever ditty!

Half life hazard course